10 Keys to Becoming Psychologically Savvy
Need a GPS for Navigating Life’s Challenges?
Healing from a Toxic Relationship
Weddings and Funerals: Times to “Recalculate”
12 Relationship Questions College Kids Want Answered
Want to Be More Persuasive? Use The Right Body Part First!
All people from time to time find themselves in a situation in which they want someone to see it their way. To be maximally persuasive, skip the sweet-talking, forget being insistent, and avoid all debating. Instead… Read More
What’s All This Talk About Couple “Communication Skills?”
We all know how to talk. So why do couples therapists teach “communication skills” to couples that are having relationship troubles? Read More
Loneliness: a Temporary State or a Vulnerable Way of Life?
Guy Winch’s new book Emotional First Aid offers the best understandings I’ve seen of the pernicious impacts of loneliness. He also suggests how to break free of social isolation to begin forming gratifying connections. Read More
How to Express Feelings… and How Not to
Expressing feelings enables us to think through and move on from troubling negative emotions. It also brings us closer to those with whom we share these feelings. On the other hand, mistakes in how we express these feelings (like saying “You make me feel…”) bring on the opposite effect. This particular phrase pushes people away and makes matters worse. Read More
Want Marriage Problems? Expect Your Spouse to Be Perfect
Odds are that if you have a tendency to criticize your spouse, you mistakenly have been expecting perfection. Big mistake. Read More
Stress in Relationships: 10 Sources and Their Antidotes
Stressful circumstances inevitably, from time to time, land on every couple’s doorstep. It’s what happens next that make stress either shrink or grow. Read More
How to Love: A 5-Part Action Plan
To fall in love is a passive act. To sustain love takes actions. Read More
Relationship Feng Shui: 3 Ways to Remove Negative Energy
Ever wonder why you turn people off? Or why someone you know is so hard to be around? Read More
Healthy Relationships Breathe In and Out Like An Accordion
What are the risks and potential solutions to nourishing both time together and time apart? Here’s seven guidelines to think about. Read More
Marriage: 8 Dangerously Wrong Conventional Wisdoms
Mistaken advice about marriage can have potent impacts. Beware especially of these relationship-wreckers. Read More
Can Energy Therapies Augment Conventional Couple Therapy?
I’m a conventional therapist who has become convinced that some of the new energy therapy techniques need to become a standard part of every psychotherapist’s repertoir. Here’s why. Read More
Worrying in Relationships: 3 Habits That Invite Anxiety
At work, people may call worried feelings stress. In relationships, couples label worrying and anxiety as tension. Fortunately, at work, home and elsewhere, understanding the habits that exacerbate anxiety can launch you on a pathway toward feeling better. Read More
10 Ways to Feel Closer to Loved Ones
Want to feel more connected with your friends, kids and partner? First, cut out any negatives you do like criticizing or getting irritable. Then check out how many of these positive kinds of contact are frequent aspects of what you do with them.Read More
Boundaries, Privacy and Intimacy Are Partly Culturally Determined
When couples start with different cultural backgrounds, their his-way, her-way expectations can lead to misunderstandings and quarrels. Differing views about the about boundaries between what should be kept private and what are legitimately public aspects of their lives can prove especially sensitive.Read More
Can I Trust My Gut to Know If I’ve Found My True Love?
Are gut intuitions enough to decide the big question, Is this The One, my real true love? Here’s five short tests to help you assess if a person who feels like a marriage candidate would be a good choice for sealing the deal as husband and wife. Read More
How To Get An Ex Back: 5 Essential Steps
A large proportion of my clients are couples on the brink of a final ending. After drifting through years of distancing and fighting, the couple has separated. The couple is quickly heading downstream toward the waterfall of a permanent break-up or divorce. Is there any way at this point to save their love from splitting apart forever? Read More
New Treatments for Borderline Personality Disorder and Other Anger Syndromes
The combination of these three treatment approaches can allow a happier and emotionally healthier person to emerge. The anger that the borderline individual thought was helping in fact pushed folks away. Eliminating the anger impulses and replacing them with positive skills for getting concerns met enables bpd individuals to blossom, and their relationships to flourish.Read More
The Deceptive Power of Love’s First Moments
Infatuation feels great. Enjoy it. Just be sure though to go beyond initial chemistry to a thoughtful decision before you agree to say “I do.” Read More
Does Gratitude Matter in Marriage?
More thanks, praise and appreciation make for a more gratifying relationship. Here’s how and why. Read More
Positivity in Relationships: 10 Ways to Radiate Good Vibes
How do you react to bland or even negative people as opposed to those who seem to send forth sunshine? And at the same time, how much positive energy do you radiate? Here’s a list to help you evaluate how you’re doing on the sunshine factor, and to give you some practical tips to try out if you’d like to become a more positive person. Read More
Healthy Relationships Breathe In and Out Like An Accordion
What are the risks and potential solutions to nourishing both time together and time apart? Here’s seven guidelines to think about. Read More
Appendage-itis: When You Love Too Much
Loving others so much that you become an appendage to them can undermine relationships. Excessive altruism can be problematic just like narcissism, its opposite. My client Mary explains how. Read More
Get Even By Getting Even Happier
Darren was furious. Claudia too couldn’t understand why her new husband Darren’s family hadn’t invited them to their recent dinner party. Worse, her in-laws had tried to keep the party a secret from them. Darren was so upset, he couldn’t stop talking about it. It would ruin his Christmas. How could they get even? Read More
Age-Gap Couples in the Twilight Zone
Couples with a large chronilogical age difference may initially feel very similar in terms of emotional age. Still, they are likely to face logistical challenges vis a vis their life-stage differences. She may be eager for children, when he’s wanting to visit the grandkids. How will the age differences affect them twenty years later? Read More
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, So Here’s a 6-Step How-To
Relationship endings can be difficult to accomplish gracefully. It is possible though to lower the risk that a breakup will lead to depression. The same strategy works whether you are the one who initiates the breakup or the one who receives the bad news. Read More
