As of the last week of August of 2011 PsychologyToday.com has selected me to be one of the psychologists who post expert-opinions on their website. My first post on the blog is an article explaining three of the main elements that make couples therapy effective. “From Thin-Skinned to Win-Win“–a title suggested by Kent Powell, my […]
Category Archives: Articles/Blogposts
All too often, hurtful words slip inadvertently from our mouths. Sometimes we genuinely meant no harm. At other times it’s worth checking in with our quiet voices. Did we in fact mean to poke or jab? And if so, why? Freud wrote about jokes, saying that they really do tend to rest on subconscious truths. […]
To fully clean up distressed feelings an apology needs to include the following ingredients. 1. Specificity: “I’m sorry about my ______.” That is, specify exactly what you did that you see now was mistaken. 2. Non-intentionality: “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” 3. Clarification: What was your miss – the mistake, misperception, misunderstanding, miscommunication, mishap, […]
Like a three ring circus, conflict resolution therapy with couples includes three arenas of interventions. In Arena A the therapist identifies and guides resolution of the issues over which couples have been experiencing tensions. Tensions can be manifest in squabbles, fights, or reluctance to address specific issues for fear that talking would lead to arguments. […]
Three Levels of Conflict Resolution Treatment Susan Heitler, Ph.D., www.therapyhelp.com and www.poweroftwomarriage.com Jon and Julia came to therapy for help toning down their continual bickering. Now they rarely bicker and enjoy instead a warm and loving partnership. What does a conflict resolution therapist do that turns a couple like this from conflict to cooperation? My […]