What Is the Most Overlooked Symptom of Narcissism?
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What is the one trait of narcissists that makes them so frustratingly troubling to deal with—to partner with at work or to live with at home? As a therapist who specializes in helping couples to build more satisfying marriages (link is external), I focus on this trait in particular. What is that habit?
Good Resources for Dealing With Narcissism
If you or someone you know has narcissistic habits like dismissive listening, believing “it’s all about me,” or quickness to anger in response to criticism, check out these resources. Read More
Why Doesn’t She/He Listen To Me? 10 Possibilities
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Nothing erodes a sense of personal empowerment like not being heard. What may be going on when you try to offer your loved one, boss or friends your perspective and they ignore your voice, brush your viewpoint aside, or automatically negate it? Read More
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Do You Think of Narcissism as an Autistic Spectrum Disorder?
“Of course not!” you might say dismissively. Not so quick. Better think again. And check the similarities that others are noticing. Read More
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Borderline Personality: Does a BPD Diagnosis Imply Raging?
One aspect of the cluster of traits listed in the DSM for borderline personality lies at the core of this disorder. That trait accounts for all the others. This is a trait that loved ones, friends and work associates all may readily identify. It lies at the heart of what can make an individual a difficult, “high maintenance” person–but it’s not anger. Read More
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Are BPD “Drama Queens” Manipulative, Sadistic, and Worse?
Having to interact with someone with a borderline personality disorder can be extremely maddening—for both sides. High intensity emotions are costly. They make interactions stressfully upsetting, emotionally draining, and demoralizing. Read More
Are You a Narcissist? 6 Sure Signs of Narcissism
Every wondered if you might have tendencies to narcissism? Or speculated that someone in your life has a problem with narcissism? Take this quick six-factor quiz to clarify what’s going on. Read More
Borderline Personality Disorder: The Sufferer’s Experience
BPD has a bad rep, and understandably so. When a man or woman with a borderline personality disorder erupts in strong emotions, loved ones and even a therapist can feel under fire. At the same time, the person with bpd also suffers. A self-description sent to me by a PT reader diagnosed with bpd has helped me, a therapist, to empathize with the bpd sufferer’s plight. Read More
Gender Bias in Diagnosing Anger: Batterer or Borderline?
How much of a role does gender play in diagnostic labeling of people who rage? All are toxic in their impacts on those around them. Yet women tend to get labeled clinically as borderline while men get called abusive, sociopathic, or bipolar. By contrast, the terms “toxic” and “narcissistic” seem to be equal-opportunity diagnostic categories. Read More
Toxic Partners: Are They Batterers or Borderlines?
How much of a role does gender play in diagnostic labeling of people who rage? All are toxic in their impacts on those around them. Yet women tend to get labeled clinically as borderline while men get called abusive, sociopathic, or bipolar. By contrast, the terms “toxic” and “narcissistic” seem to be equal-opportunity diagnostic categories. Read More
Evil Genes? An Unconventional Perspective On BPD
Why do folks with borderline personality disorder sometimes act in such astoundingly selfish and hurtful ways? Read More
You’re Here to Fulfill My Dreams
When he had been young, Paul easily rose to the top of the world of junior tennis by winning many junior tennis tournaments. Throughout his high school years he ranked at the top not only in his city but in the state, the region and the country. What was the price? Read More
More Info for Adult Children of Borderline Mothers
These comments from readers of my earlier postings on borderline personality disorder have useful suggestions for understanding and coping with family members who rage. Read More
When Your Mother Has a Borderline Personality
Adult children of moms with borderline personality disorders report the lifelong devastating impact of their mothers’ intense narcissism and unpredictable raging. What could help kids who have these kinds of moms? Read More
How an Often-Angry Little Girl Does Not Develop a Borderline Personality Disorder
When children learn that throwing angry fits gets them what they want, why should they change? Likewise for lovers and spouses who find that anger works to control their mate. Read More
A Short Course for Overcoming Narcissism and BPD
A few critical skill upgrades can massively improve relationships for folks who act in ways that get labeled narcissistic or borderline personality disorder. This Short Course suggests skills for the folks with the labels and also for their loved ones and work colleagues. Read More
The Sleepover: How a Cute Little Girl Develops Borderline Personality Disorder
I have a heretical thought. Maybe borderlines fear abandonment because they do things that motivate people in their lives to want to get rid of them. Still, what causes them to act in such off-putting ways? Read More
Do More Things Bring Less Love?
Recent research suggests that stylish clothes and a big house may indicate that the person inside the showy clothes and home is at risk for narcissism, marriage problems, and less happiness. It may be though that upgrading your marriage communication skills can let you have it all. Read More
Success Can Breed the Narcissism I Call “Tall Man Syndrome”
One of the dilemmas of choosing a life partner is that the ones who look most attractive on the outside often turn out to be the most mean and difficult to live with. When initial allure turns to alarm bells, savvy partner-hunters then turn elsewhere. Read More
